*A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
*What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
*Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
*She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
*A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
*If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
*With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
*When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
*The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
*A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
*He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
*A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
*A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
*He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
*Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
*When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
*Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
*When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
*Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
*Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.