A Merry Heart

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." Proverbs 17:22

COPS AND ROBBERS

"What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a receipt for his traffic fine.

"Keep it," the clerk advised. "When you get four of them, you get a bicycle."

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A burglar decided to break open a safe in a hardware store. He broke in one night late and on the door of the safe he was very pleased and surprised to find a note reading: "Please don't use dynamite. This safe is unlocked. Just turn the knob." He did so. Instantly heavy sand bags fell on him, the entire building was floodlighted, alarms started ringing throughout the building, sirens sounded, dogs barked. As the police carried him out, he was heard to say: "My confidence in human nature has been rudely shaken."

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Counsel: "Do you wish to challenge any of the jury?"

Prisoner: "Well, I think I could lick that little fellow on this end."

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Policeman: "Here is your parking ticket."

Woman: "And just what do you do when you catch a real criminal?"

Policeman: "I don't know; all I ever catch are the innocent ones."

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FBI agent to the bank teller after the bank was robbed for the third time by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?"

Bank Teller: "Yes, he seemed better dressed each time."

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A man walked up to me on State Street and said, "Stick 'em down."

I said, "You mean stick 'em up?"

He said, "Well, it's no wonder I haven't made any money.

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Sign at a traffic court:

DON"T COMPLAIN; THINK OF THE SUMMONSES YOU HAVE DESERVED BUT DID NOT GET!